Ask Me Anything – August 2020

The Ask Me Anything Initiative is to facilitate open communication with individuals interested in coaching services. No matter where you are in the world, you can ask any coaching related question.

The purpose of this initiative is to address issues close to the heart of every individual.

A big thank you to those who participated and sent their questions  on the website using the form.

During the August webinar we’ve discussed mainly about parenting issues.

That’s why my message to you is this:
Be realistic! There’s no such thing as a perfect parent.

For most people, becoming a parent is relatively easy. Almost anyone can do it. You don’t need a license, formal qualifications, or any real knowledge at all about children in order to produce one.
It’s being a parent that’s the tough bit. At one and the same time it’s the most wonderful privilege and daunting challenge of your life. You suddenly find yourself responsible for a helpless and impressionable infant who depends on you for absolutely everything. And it’s your job not just to meet all their needs, but to spend the next eighteen or so years ensuring they get the best possible start in life. This „small task” is one that’ll stretch you more than anything you’ve ever attempted before …
But if you’re willing to take it on and give it your best, it can also prove to be the most exciting, rewarding and fulfilling experience of your life!

Kids don’t come with an instruction manual

Before we become parents, most people have got it all sorted. They carefully observe the way other parents raise their kids, noting their mistakes. Couples smile at each other in a knowing sort of way. They know just how not to do things.

Now I know that the only people who’re certain how to raise kids are those who’ve never had any. Before you have a child, you can afford to have Ten Commandments on how to raise a Happy Family. But by the time your first child is a year old, you’ve had to downgrade them to Ten Handy Hints, and within another year you’ve abandoned them altogether!

The truth is that none of the „prepackaged” rules people come up with before they have children actually work.

Before they have kids, every parent believes they can do a near-perfect job. But the moment they hold their new-born son or daughter in their arms, their confidence disappears and their theories evaporate. Perfection stops being a realistic goal and becomes a massive burden. And that’s OK!

Parenting Advice is now a booming industry. There are „experts” and „professionals” galore telling us exactly what we’re doing wrong and how to correct it in the future. As a result, we have to cope not just with our children, but with the experts as well. If you’re anything like me, this advice is sometimes intimidating. It often makes us feel even more guilty about messing things up than we did before.

But the truth is that perfect happy families simply don’t exist. Behind all front doors, families have the same troubles, tensions, squabbles and dilemmas as everyone else. As they say, the grass may be greener „over there”, but it still needs mowing!

There’s no magic formula that’ll solve all your parenting problems. There’s not even any guarantee that what works with one child one day will work with the same child, or any other child, the next. Parenting is more like improvised music than math. There are some very important broad principles, but most of it’s matter of individual flair and style.
Whatever you’ve heard or read, you can’t expect to get it all right from the start.

Other parents can share what they’ve learnt from personal experience. Experts can outline the basic principles. But no one can give you fail-safe, guaranteed-to-succeed rules for what to do in every situation.
Every child, and therefore every relationship, is different.

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